A small penis
Hi, I'm Ant
Smith and I have a small penis
Monday 17th March 2014
Shorty
I have a tiny cock
Like a crooked little finger
Everybody else's dick
Is inevitably bigger
If six inch as an average
Can truly be believed
Someone here in this room
Is twice the size of me
If you can do your algebra
Already you will know
Four inches is the maximum
My dick will ever go
For the engineers among you
I'll express my ratio
My little one inch wonder
Up to four times it can grow
My pubes are even longer
They make a comfy nest
With a little acorn sat
Upon the very crest
Rummage in my fly and
Wish that I were blessed
Searching frantically
I recover just the head
Get a little piss drip
Up on my finger tip
There's absolutely nothing there
For me to get a grip
If I sit to pee I must
Be wary of my jet
The angle of my dangle means
My trousers may get wet
He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick
But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!
Yes
He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick
But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!
I wank it with one finger
If you really want to know
And no I can't imagine
The feeling of deep throat
When I look down I can still
Clearly see my toes
But my little willy hides
Beneath my belly folds
Sometimes it is inverted
Even when it isn't cold
Like a little turtle
Inside of me it goes
Girls they like to tell me
It' such a cute surprise
Until I have to tell them I
Left the condom stuck inside
I'm hung like Mickey Mouse
I'm glad now to admit
For the greater pain exists
In propagating myths
According to the internet
Real men have massive dicks
And you are next to useless
If you're 'only' average
So if you're sat with five or six then
Feel the relief
You no longer have to hide it
In shame and misery
For I'm the living proof you've got
Way more than you need
For even with four inches
My, girl's in love with me
He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick
But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!
Yes
He's got a little willy, a tiny baby dick
But at least he's got the balls, to admit to it!
Whilst it is fortunately true in some respects that penis size doesn't matter,
almost 50% of men suffer some degree of penis size anxiety - in this sense at
least, it matters. There's plenty of re-assurance on offer, in terms of
enlightened family or friends or survey statistics. But of course, most men
with such concerns can't discuss them, and find reasons why the various
assurances are invalid. No matter what is said, a man will always feed the
anxiety. Assurances are hardly heard as he squirms in an embarrassment, only
hoping the conversation will soon be over. Abstract facts simply wash off,
because he REALLY DOES have a small penis. 99% of men with such anxiety have
perfectly normal dicks. But when they hear this, every single one thinks 'I
must be in the other 1%'. And it is in our nature to hold exceptional memories.
It takes a hundred reassurances for one of them to stick, but only one
perceived shortcoming to send you back to the start.
So by all accounts this city is packed with men worrying wrongly about their
perfectly reasonable six inch dicks.
For some, it becomes debilitating. The psychological obsession is so strong
that they develop all manner of inappropriate behaviours.Something in our
culture keeps a lot of men destabilised in this way. Is that a surprise? Blame
the porn industry, or whatever, but it is secrecy that always has the greatest
power to create fear and subjugate people.
Of course, some well-endowed men are the opposite, flopping their meat out at
any opportunity. Or taking jobs in porn which we know gives us a skewed visual
history of dick size. The more the smaller guys with anxiety shy and hide away,
the more skewed this view becomes. It's a vicious circle. It can only be broken
by normalising our view of dicks - not by publishing abstract data, but rather
by being prepared to be open, honest, and non-judgemental about dick size.
Of course it would be easy for a guy with a normal, or even a large dick, to
say that.
But if a guy with just about 4 inches, at best, stands up and says 'compare
with me', then the vast majority of men (98.8%) are going to feel all the better. As will the guy with 4 inches, since
we'll have reduced the overall perception of common dick size.
So I came to the conclusion that rather than my anxiety being justified (which,
even though I am small, it isn't) my anxiety was adding to the problem. I was
making it easier to believe that cocks don't REALLY come this small - leaving
all those guys with 5 and 6 inches weeping needlessly.
And reinforcing their vulnerability, only increases my own.
Not that I am debilitated by a body dysmorphic illness. But my anxiety over my
dick size is a companion in my life that visits me at least daily. Whether
having a wank, or a piss, or casually confronted by an obvious bulge on the
tube, a voice would say 'you inadequate little bitch'. Certainly my obsessive
personality had ample fuel to distract me from life and redirect my energies
down self-destructive routes. As well as the lost energy, there's the danger
that at some point, in some way, this inner destructive submissiveness would
bring me ruin.
So I did what it is best to do with all half buried truths. I set it free.
But rather than simply boring the world with another AA style proclamation
("Hi, I'm Ant Smith and I have a small penis") I tried to turn the
draining negative energy into a creative, positive outlet - with my Poem.
As soon as I finished it I knew I had crafted exactly what I wanted to say. But
I was seriously uncertain if I could ever let it see the light of day. I've
made passing remarks on cock size in other works, skirting round the issue. It
was clear to me that this was a poem that had been writing itself for a long time.
It felt like an important piece. And I thought about my other work. The keen
embarrassment that I had put my wife through with lyrics such as 'Spunky'. I
realised immediately that a selective truth is no truth at all. That if I was
to maintain my credentials as an artist, I could not bury this piece.
Of course I thought about my wife. Would she be embarrassed by my performing
this? What would she think people would think of her for marrying such a man.
But our discussion together didn't even touch on that, because I believe she
understands the 'necessity within me'. And it is pretty clear that she loves me
and my dick. Not despite my dick. In fact, it is only because my dull brain has
started realise her assurances are true that I've even arrived at this point.
For a man who used to get undressed in the dark, I've come a long way. Being
able to write and perform this poem is, at least partially, a testament to my
wife's love. How can I keep hating my crappy little dick when she loves it so?
Finally, I thought how important IS this piece. I did a google search for
'small dick poem' - 48m results but they quickly descended into a mire of Small
Penis Humiliation porn links. I read a dozen or so poems on the subject. Most
were derogatory pieces written by women with their own reasons. The remainder,
bar one, could most kindly be called erotica. Just one other piece was written
in celebration of cock, but not necessarily of and by an underendowed guy. I'm
sure there are plenty of other examples out there but from a quick search, I
think an honest and truly funny piece about a small cocked guy is certainly
called for.
So I think this piece is socially important, important to my integrity,
important to my marriage, largely novel and above all TOO DAMN FUCKING FUNNY.
I've never before questioned a poem so deeply. I'm glad to realise I take my
work so seriously. I am resolved to perform this piece. I'm fascinated now to
know the effect it may have. There may even be another blog post in it...
About the piece
For once I admit, this poem is autobiographical. I rarely say that about my
writing, because it's rarely strictly true. I mostly write about the abstract
'human condition'. Certainly tinted and coloured by the things I have seen and
the people I have met but my poems are usually dressed up in imagined worlds
and characters.
But a piece like this cannot work in the abstract. To achieve its aims the
audience has to be certain that the poet is discussing exactly what he
personally packs inside his own pants, so that the invited comparison is as
real as it can be. This is why the last line of the poem changes to state 'a
short dick man like me'.
It is also why the poem as a whole is autobiographical. All of the stated
issues relate to true events. The reality of living with a small penis is
crucial to creating the liberating attitude. Yeah, sometimes it's a struggle to
pee and no way do condoms fit like a glove. I have to recognise those facts in
order to say, 'So fuck?' And so fuck is what I mean. These are things that
effect only me and my wife. For others they're funny drunken conversations. No
more no less. What matters to me is that my little guy has found a loving home.
Certainly more so than many of much greater stature. I'm not sure I yet totally
believe that size doesn't matter, but with my wife by my side I'm happy to make
that my next obsessive mantra.
Los Angeles Times
February 18, 2015
Poet who found fame with
'Shorty' to throw 'Big Small Penis Party'
By MICHAEL SCHAUB
It's not the size of the poem, it's how you use it.
Or so British poet Ant Smith might have you believe.
After the writer's long ode to his not-so-long penis, "Shorty,"
became a big hit, he decided to use his poem to help other men in the same
rowboat. UPI reports that
Smith is throwing a "Big Small Penis Party" in London, which he hopes
will "prove that life's just too SHORT to be hung up on the LITTLE
things."
Smith's poem "Shorty," much of which is
unprintable in The Times (it can be found in its graphic, not-safe-for-work
entirety here), celebrates the virtues of men with petite
endowments:
"So for anyone who feels small
Let me reassure you all ...
You no longer have to let it
Be the measure of the man ..."
Smith wrote about the poem last year in The
Independent, confessing:
"The first time I performed the poem was horrible for me. On the journey
to the venue, I blushed and reddened just thinking about what was to come. On
stage, I spat the words out like bullets to a stunned room."
The "Big Small Penis Party" will feature
comedians, musicians and naked poets, Smith says. It's not just restricted to
men with miniature endowments -- women are welcome provided they give a
donation, and men will be admitted for a cover charge of "50p [about 77
cents] per claimed phallic inch."
A website for the soiree urges would-be party-goers:
"If you BELIEVE Body Shaming is evil, If you BELIEVE all men (and women!)
are born equal, If you BELIEVE in a damned good night out, come join us in this
celebration." (Here's a link to the party website, which includes explicit
drawings).
The Big Small Penis Party will be held on March 7 at
The Rhythm Factory in London. Those curious about the event should be warned:
The party's website notes that the event will be filmed for a documentary, and
"will contain nudity."